donut wheel

today i was woken up rudely by my little brother and was told to get up to go get donuts. now, i do not like to get woken up for almost any reasons. But how can i miss an opportunity to see life anyways?

so there i sat at the donut wheel (we went there instead of dunk'in donuts, bad choice, its more expensive at donut wheel) eating my strawberry filled donut. i looked at the window and the first thing that caught my attention was the other food places. i noticed how closely they were situated to each other, the competitive looks that they each had. i understand how these places need the money an all, but does it always have to be a competition in business? some people would tell me that that is what it is all about (my dad), but i began to think of other way that we could do the same thing but differently.

but how could i begin to explain that we can have the same situation minus the competition? they wouldnt listen to me anyways so thats a moot point.

but life isnt about competition isnt it? or do we just do it to make some kind of fulfillment out of our lives? are we not capable if doing it in some other way? i understand it in primal terms of the master race and being the top of the food chain, but if we are truly the master race, cannot we ever get along? or are we doomed to compete with each other till the end of our days?

i sat there feeling sad at this realization, but knowing i could not do anything about it for now, i quickly got over it. maybe in time......

Feelings.

Have you ever cared about someone enough that you are constantly worried about them? of course you have what am i saying. you think about this person who may or may not be in trouble and is it that sometimes a protective quality takes over?

but consider, why care enough for that though? it creates a weakness in our otherwise hard will core. some would say :"we care because we want to care".

so you want to create a weakness?

but then again saying this would make me sounds cold hearted right? i mean im human am i not so i must have some caring properties to myself. of course i do, but i always consider the other side of the story. why is it that for some dangerous situation that the military will choose the man with no wife and no kids, really no home back where ever they came from, for those missions. because he has nothing to lose right? and if he is caught then they cannot use anyone against him really to gain any information or leverage.

but then again, why do they not go after the man that is married and has kids when they used to have a draft? they believed it may have caused him harm and it would give an enemy a large amount of persuasion over him.

but what about the strong parts in it? when we care and when we love we are able to band together as one strong force to over come almost any obstacles, right? we become better people do we not when we care and love in our lives about other people. we look better in other peoples eyes do we not? but then again there are those people out there that notice and can use that very feeling of caring and love against you.

so in a case like this one, can you not say love (since the love is the base of it all in this case) is a double edged tool? one for healing and one for killing? think about it, think of people who could use or hurt the ones you love to make you do something. or could you stand that persons pain?

The Little Things.

I'm walking down the street not really paying attention to anything but my own thoughts but there are those things that tend to catch my attention regardless. you know the things that they are, a certain color, a shape, some kind of movement, a weak smell that triggers some kind of memory you cannot actually place or truly see. or even when you are talking to someone and you see a cat hair sitting on their shoulder and for some reason all your attention is drawn to it.

but why do we pay attention to these trivial details, although at the time we are focusing at them they do not seem trivial, when there are such bigger things? is it because our brains themselves have registered the actual facts, they know the big ones, and in their own way distract us from these things?

you hear the saying it doesn't matter the size of the box but what is inside of it? twist it so that it fits this situation, where you are distracted by the box and unknowing what the little item will be (at the time you do not think it is little). its only backwards, we are now paying attention to the larger things, and in this case are begin misguided by what something larger can contain. because in all most cases the larger box always contain something smaller. otherwise how would it fit into the box?

in most cases from what i see we are unable to see the bog picture only buts and pieces of it. in time will we achieve the full picture?

Just at this moment i just noticed a crumb on my desk out of all the things on my desk. then i looked up and saw a job application i was supposed to fill out yesterday? why the crumb first? why did my mind distract me from it?